Your thoughts on parents drug testing their teens??

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Heather inOC

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I'm just starting to research this issue for a presentation in a couple weeks and would like to get a feel for what stance you guys take on the topic of at-home drug testing by parents on their children. If you respond, please let me know your gender/age and the gender/age of your children. If you don't have kids, please chime in still. Thanks!



-Heather in OC
 
24/M no kids.



I say no. Unless they have had run-in with law involving drugs or some other prior incident. Never just because you think they are.
 
34/M and 4/F and 2/M.



Not saying I would but if I thought there was a real good reason to I would. There is a thing called trust but of course that can only take you so far. If I saw some signs of it (being a PRIOR user myself), I would. But not on a whim.
 
I am against parents testing their children, unless they suspect there is a problem. However, I believe the schools should start random drug testing, just as many workplaces have done. That is the best way of ensuring schools are drug-free.



44/M 14/F
 
As a kid who was drug tested through high school, I didn't care. I never had a reason to worry. Never did em, never cared to try. My parents did let me drink at home though; they'd rather I do it there than out at someone else's house and try do drive home. My mom's only rule was anyone who drinks spends the night.



Just got a new job and I was informed that I will have to pass a drug test before I'm hired, again, not a problem. I'm not sure if any of this helps your survey, but if the kid won't do it, why not? Sure there's a thing called trust, but maybe he has to earn it.
 
I think talking, and being involved in their lives in general will provide you the answer. One other option is to have them get a job where it's required (many places now). Sometimes it's better to expose them to examples in the real world where this (or other things) will impact their lives. Two advantages, one, you don't have to be the bad guy all the time (at least not the only one), and two, they tend to not listen to parents anyway. Well, they do, they just won't admit it as easily. It has worked better for me to expose kids to the realities of life, in a controlled way, and let them see for themselves taht I'm really not making stuff up. Not suggesting you don't tell them right from wrong as well, just backing it up with other examples can be very helpful.



Oh, 39M, with 14M & 16F
 
22 year old, 19 year old, 6 year old - NO there has to be trust and communication. We were always open with our kids, talked all the time and trusted them to make good judgement calls. Communication is so important. You must listen to them
 
Absolutely, I would much rather get involved early on, than to wait for the authorities too.



If I start noticing a change in behavior, if it becomes irrational, they're not using good judgement, grades falling off, hanging out with questionable characters, not doing their chores, any combination of 3 or more of these then yes I would.



And a positive result would give me the chance to intercede and explain some real tough life consequences. Narcotics are ILLEGAL! Underage drinking is ILLEGAL!



45/M & 38/wifey - 14/F, 12/M



D-
 
When my son was 14 we suspected him of smoking pot. Actually, we knew he had. Gave him one week to confess and face a drug test. On the last day he confessed. Did the drug test anyway and it came back negative. So his use had been very low. Since he confessed he was not punished, just warned. He was told that until he was 18 he would be randomly tested. Since all you need is hair samples, we implied he would be tested every time he got his hair cut. Actually, we only tested him a couple of times and he was always negative. He is now 24. When I asked him if he had smoked again, he said after he left for college.

Trust is a great thing. However, ask yourself how many things did you get away with and were trusted by your parents. I would absolutely test my child. You can do it without them knowing, so why not ???
 
You DEFINITELY need to know your kids. Because you'll know when they have or at least when they're lying. I'm against it only because I KNOW my kids.....and they know me!:angry:



38/m 13/f 7/m
 
Last edited by a moderator:
19/M



I have never been tested by my parents because there is that level of trust and communication that we share. BUT, my friends in highschool got tested by their parents and it did prevent them from actually doing drugs, for that period. I say only test if there is an extreme change in them, such as failing grades, loss of motivation, etc. Also home drug tests are pointless because there are many ways around it that can be purchased at any local health foods store.
 
I am 40, male, with three kids Boy-13, Boy-10, Girl-5.



And I know I may still be in the optimistic younger-teen years of our oldest, and he is a great kid, but I have to say: NO, I don't generally support a parent drug testing their teen, because of the following reason:



1) A parent should have a pretty good handle on his or her teens comings and goings, their friends, the amount of money they have and spend, and what they do with their time.



2) A parent should have a close relationship with their teen so that they can discuss drug use, and drug temptation



3) A parent should be able to tell if there teen child is acting strangely or not themselves, and find out what the problems are; it may not always be drugs, but the warning signs are usually there if you watch for them.



So, *IF* a parent is doing all of the above, then a drug test won't normally be needed, IMHO, because you the parent should be able to tell if their child is on drugs, at least with some level of certainty.



Therefore, you could say that I see "drug testing of teens" as a LAST RESORT, when communication has broken down, trust is gone, and you just "have to know" so that you can FORCE your child to TAKE the help you can provide for them. If you get to that point, the drug taking (if factual) is probably a symptom of a larger problem in the teen and the families' life.



TJR
 
21/M



I dont have kids but my parents never tested me. I have never done anything other than drink alcohol, which most people dont believe for some reason. But, if i thought my kids were doing something, or there were signs that began appearing, i would have no hesitation of testing my future kids.



Growing up in Downtown LA i've seen a lot of messed up kids turn into adults with no future. Alot of that because of drugs. I know what was available and offered many times to me that i turned down, so i would be very cautious with my kids when it comes to things like that.
 
38 with 10/F

She didn't even know what "pot" meant when I said something to her about it today. If I suspected there was a problem, I would request a drug test



My boyfriend (45) has a 17 year old daughter who has caused alot of problems lately, and through counseling found out she was doing pot. He took her car away from her for a month, and then she has to pass a drug test to get it back. He's definitely for at-home testing. But, he didn't even think it would be an issue til now.
 
Dad 49 with 16 year old son and 19 year old daughter. I test them all the time - I talk to them every day about school, where they are going, who they are going with, when will they be home. I've set boundaries for them and stayed involved, and don't sweat the little mistakes they make. I've also nailed them when needed. They've told me a few things that scare me, but I'm happy they are telling me what they are doing.



I did a "Dad style" drug test on my son - he was acting funny when he came home so I grabbed him, wrestled him down and pinned him and smelled his breath, pulled his eyes open and checked his pupils. He thought I was playing with him until he realized what I was doing. I told him that would happen again if I was suspicious - he said, "fine if you can pin me!" I'm getting too old for this!

 
42 F (16 F & 22M)kids

Yes, But only if they give you reason to do the UA's,. If things are going well, and they've not done anything to loose your trust, then NO, that will only hurt the trust ESPECIALLY if it comes back negative, BUT, if they've started breaking your trust, and you have some suspensions of something being wrong, then YES,...... you need to know, and then get them help, the sooner the better,.....

----->Experienced mom here, going through this same thing!

~Dove~
 

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