My Random Thoughts'

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EddieS'04

In Memoriam 1950-2022
Joined
Sep 26, 2004
Messages
17,726
Reaction score
270
Location
Pasadena, TX
I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?



Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.



All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.



If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.



What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?



They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.



Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.



Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.



Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.



What if there were no hypothetical questions?



One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.



When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.



A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.



What was the greatest thing before sliced bread? Hmmmm.



My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.



I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.



The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.



How can there be self-help "groups"?



Is there another word for synonym?



Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?



The speed of time is one-second per second.



Is it possible to be totally partial?



What's another word for thesaurus?



Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?



If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?



Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.



It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.



Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?



 
Eddie,

:bwahaha:



What has me worried is that some of them actually make sense to me???



...Rich
 
Eddie, I didn't realize you were such a deep thinker but then I used to think I had a sense of humor...........................



Jim
 
:bwahaha:



For some reason when reading these, I can hear Demetri Martin's voice. If you haven't seen him before and you like those one-liners, you should look up some of his bits. His "Person" DVD is pretty good
 
I actualy copied these from a joke of the day email.....



Many of them make alot of sense though...LOL
 

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