Military Rules for the Non-Military Personnel

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Gavin Allan

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Subject: Military Rules for the Non-Military Personnel



Dear Civilians,



We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation have many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas we would like your assistance with:









The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem ... kick their ass.





When you witness firsthand someone burning the American Flag in protest... kick their ass.





Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these Veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these Veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a Disabled Veteran kicks their ass.





(GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDU's), telling others that you used to be "Special Forces," and collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay if you were still seven. Now, it will only make you look stupid and get your ass kicked.





Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, "Do you fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an ass kicking (children are exempt).





If you witness someone calling the U.S. Coast Guard non military, inform them of their mistake...and kick their ass.





Roseanne Barr's singing of the National Anthem is not a blooper...it was a disgrace and disrespectful. Laugh, and sooner or later your ass will be kicked.





Next time Old Glory (U.S. flag) prances by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her...of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe ass kicking.





What Jane Fonda did during the Vietnam War makes her the enemy. The proper word to describe her is "traitor." Just mention her nomination for "Woman of the Year" and get your ass kicked.





Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran. We are Americans and we all bleed the same regardless of our party affiliation. Our Chain of Command, is to include our commander in Chief. The President (for those who didn't know) is our CIC regardless of political party. We have no inside track on what happens inside those big important buildings where all those representatives" meet. All we know is that when those civilian representatives screw up the situation, they call upon the military to go straighten it out. The military member might direct you to Oliver North. (I can see him kicking your ass already.)





"Your mama wears combat boots" never made sense to me ... stop saying it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and probably kick your ass!





Bin Laden and the Taliban are not communists, so stop saying "Let's go kill those Commie's!!!" And stop asking us where he is!!!! Crystal balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me ... if you see anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers; let me know, so I can go kick their ass.





Flyboy (Air Force), Jar Head (Marines), Grunt (Army), Squid (Navy) etc, are terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. Could get your ass kicked.





Last but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends please remember that there are, literally, thousands of sailors<
 
Finally, in words all americans can understand... (former)U.S NavyPettyofficer 3rd class (aircrewman) Cole.



I was just explaining to my 14 year old daughter today...why I support my president. The one that has been chosen by the voters of this country, wether I voted for him or not. He is my president.
 
One of my airmen was verbally accosted by two civilians last Monday while ordering food at a local Wendy's. He asked them to watch their mouth, when one said he hoped all the troops in Iraq were killed. The civilian doing most of the talking punched my airman in the mouth.



Being the young, impulsive troop, he punched the guy in the throat and kicked his partner in the family jewels, sending them both to the floor. He stayed for the local police report and hasn't been contacted further, but he did receive a written reprimand by our division chief (no permanent damage to his career if he doesn't repeat his offense).



Additional rule -- If you berate the military or their mission, be prepared to get your ass kicked (along with your slow-witted friend's).
 
Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, "Do you fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an ass kicking (children are exempt).
Click to expand...

I think this is the number one question I get asked the most. People don't realize that only like 5%, if that, are pilots.
 
And remember, If you see someone in BDUs ( Camo ), they are not always in the Army. Some of us in the Air Force (Navy, & Marines) wear them too.



Thanks.. I really enjoyed it



MSgt. Sal A. 23 years and still counting
 
Good stuff. I'd like to have been there to applaude the airman at Wendy's.
 
Thanks to all you vets. Those 2 idiots at Wendy's deserved the ass kicking. Armed Forces dasy is coming up this weekend. If your town has a parade be sure to be there and salute our vets, and give them a big Thank You as well.
 
Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, "Do you fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an ass kicking (children are exempt).



I think this is the number one question I get asked the most. People don't realize that only like 5%, if that, are pilots.
Click to expand...



I hear that alot too!



Also, on the BDUs thing, I remember a while back while I was still an airman in Kansas, we marched at the Special Olympics opening ceremony, and afterwards one of the olympians started flipping out because she'd never seen anyone in a flightsuit before (there was a 1LT there with us) , and she thought the pilot was an enemy combatant or something. I calmed her down and explained it to her, and showed her that the 22d Wing patch on my pocket was the same as the one on the pilot's shoulder.



Great rules, I've seen them before a while back.
 
Though I do respect and admire our military and those who serve it, and often go out of my way to show my appreciation, and I understand the humor with which the original post was implied, do we really want to portray that the way our fine folks in uniform recommend one deal with conflict resolution is by "ass kicking?"



TJR
 
TomT - Used to ride in jets in my previous life.:cool: "Fly" the jet would imply control, I had no controls in the back seat. Just a voice activated pilot.



TJR - no worries, it's just a parody. Nobody is recommending this as a means to resolve conflict. :D



 
TJR, the military frowns on resolving conflicts with violence. That is why my troop was formally reprimanded. If the guy hadn't thrown the first punch, he would be in much more trouble.
 
May God bless all our military members and watch over them. To those of you here who are in the military: "THANK YOU" for your service and your sacrifice.



Nelson: I think your airman should have recieved a commendation for his actions. I hope he is OK.



A vet buddy sent me the original E-mail and I felt moved to send it on.
 
Tom, I've never flown a plane, but I hope to change that sometime. I rode in one or two, and I can point one out 4 out of 5 times.

:lol:



Oh, and I jump through Stargates for a living. ;)
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Navy...10 years.





That first post reminds me of Stripes:



Psycho: The name's Francis Sawyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill you.

Leon: Ooooooh.

Psycho: You just made the list, buddy. Also, I don't like no one touching my stuff. So just keep your meathooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I'll kill you. And I don't like nobody touching me. Any of you homos touch me, and I'll kill you.

Sergeant Hulka: Lighten up, Francis.

 
Like Sal we've been doing it on the ground for 23 years, but I did get to fly an F-15 one time. One of the greatest thrills of my life!

[Broken External Image]:
 
I am also former USN 10 years, fixed planes, rode in quite a few and have done 2 tours in the middle east. I would like to petition to have something else on the original list. If anyone can help me out in how to word it that would be great..



When you see a group of civilians protesting at a military funeral with signs saying "I hope all troops in Iraq die" and a congressman actually supports them and their right to free speech, well, i think he needs an ass whoopin.
 

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