I Need to Get This Out....

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Michael Fazzina

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Oct 19, 2005
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Dear fellow forum friends,



This post is not going to have anything to do with the joys of owning a Sport Trac. But I will say that this forum, and all it incompasses, is truely awesome. I have met some really great people while I've been here and feel that you are all very respectible and admirable. There is just a wealth of knowledge and advice along with some great off-beat humor and reality checks. I am fortunate to be a part of it.



Anyway, the point of this is more personal than anything. I've been down this road before and know that the only way I will begin to start to feel better is to just get it all out of my system.



Times are tough right now. If I could compare this to something it would be this. I used to saute at a restaurant and I feel like when I would work in front of that huge 16 burner range top. All 16 burners were occupied and I still had a good 10-12 dinner tickets I have yet to look at. I feel stressed. I feel overwhelmed. I feel frustrated. I feel defeated. I feel helpless. I feel tired. I feel depressed.



Depression really sucks. To those out there who have never dealt with the effects of depression, I hope you never have to. It's all the feelings I mentioned above twirling around and around in your head like a wild tornado.



Let it be known that I will not let this get to me. I will not stand here and let depression control and run my life. I will not allow depression to defeat me. And most of all, I will not let depression ruin the most wonderful thing I have in my life now, my beautiful Carole. She means everything to me. If will not let this disease sit down and ruin my life.





Mike
 
I know depression can be treated, and it's good to hear that you're willing to fight it, Mike. Best wishes and prayers go out to you.
 
Get well soon Mike.



I was depressed, though not clinically diagnosed as such, for about 3 years after both my parents died in 1999 at a young age (they were both 57). It was tough.



Life is a series of experiences and feelings. Feel and experience them all! Keep going!
 
Unless your life is absolutely perfect (I've never met anyone like that myself) then everyone goes through what your now going through at some stage in their life. I know I have. Just keep in mind that things WILL get better. Life is full of ups and downs. The older you get, the more you realize that. Quit worrying about things that are out of your control and focus on changing the things you can. Think positive.
 
Been there. I was on Paxil for a while when I was trying to start my business, work another job, and hold my first marriage together with a wife who wasn't happy no matter what. The she moved out to make some other guy's life miserable, and after I got over it I actually felt much better. The Paxil made my noodle limp but I was too happy to care. Still have my down periods but I fight through it. There are a lot of people, maybe more than you think, in the same boat.
 
TomT, don't get me wrong, I hear what you are saying--but if this is clinical depression, as Mike seems to indicate that it is, then no, not everyone goes through it at some stage in their life. If someone has clinical depression and doesn't realize it, writing it off as "something that will pass, that everyone has to deal with" is one of the most dangerous underestimations you can make. And if someone has clinical depression and does realize it, having other people tell write off what they're dealing with as "something that will pass, that everyone has to deal with" is one of the most difficult things to work through on the road to recovery.



Mike, hang in there. Seek help. Make it clear to Carole that you may need to lean on her for support from time to time, sometimes quite heavily--and after that, don't be afraid to seek her teamwork in beating this, regardless of how tempting it might be to try and do this on your own. You will beat this!



--Bill
 
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Mike...I deal with clinical depression and I take meds for it..dont feel ashamed or too big to ask for medical help...I have been back on meds for about 8months now..I have a tendency to take myself off when the times are good...wrong thing to do for me when you are diagnosed with clinical depresion, there is no such thing as pick yourself up by the boot straps and keep going..Iam 55yrs old and just now figuring that out..I have also started this month seeking counseling..



Well there it is I spilled my beans..but there is no shame..;)



Maybe your situation is just temporary and maybe not..as I said before dont let anyone tell you there is something wrong with seeking help...there are more of us men out there that have this problem, than will usually admit it..email me if you need to talk..the address in my profile is a good one..



Best wishes to you brother Trac-er
 
BillV is right, you have to seek help, I do have what the shrink calls base depression, not needed to take meds, but enought to go to a check up with the therapist once in a while.

My wife is on antidepressants and has therapy session every other week, she's fully functional now, but she was really down before.



Do not try to fight it alone, you won't win, if your insurance does not cover mental health issues, there are community clinics that might be able to help you.

Talk to your doctor.

The best of lucks...
 
Mike, get some help. Go talk to a professional and see if this is something that can be talked out in therapy, or if you need medicine to get you well.



Regardless of how you go, you've got many friends here who will gladly read whatever you care to write.
 
Mike, as you may have figured out, you are not alone. I know all about clinical depression. I know about the effects it can have on your whole life.



Hang in there and know that others are battling it too. Know that there are some wonderful treatments out there that can make a huge difference. Know that there are plenty of folks who are treated, but still battle the demons every single day to some degree.



I wonder if there is some corelation between SportTrac ownership and rate of depression? Maybe owning a SportTrac helps folks deal with their depression! (Or maybe owning a SportTrac can CAUSE depression :eek:)



Hang in there.
 
Mike, emotions are highly driven by chemistry in the brain. Seritonum is a major contributer as well as others. If you needed insulin to control glucose levels you would consider it perfectly reasonable. Well there are drugs to help depression and, as insulin, should not carry any astigma with there use. Reconizing you have a problem is the first step in it's resolution. Hang in there. IT WILL get better.
 
mike.

I think a very important thing to look at here is that you have recognized it, and have mad a written proclamation that it is not going to win. that is a very imortant step.

I wish you the best.
 
Bill V. I fully understand clinical depression but I also know there is a fine line between being clinical depression and just being really depressed. If you define clinical depression as something requiring medication then been there done that. If you think it's just a "chemical imbalance" then your mistaken. There's a lot more to it then just taking a pill to straighten things out. It still comes down to taking hold of your life and realizing there is a light at the end of the tunnel. That is all I was trying to convey.

I truly sympathize with you Mike and just want you to know things will get better if you give it a chance. Medication helps but it's up to you to get through this and I have no doubt you will. Seek professional help if you must. Can't say it did me any good. I eventually worked things out on my own.

As you can tell from the other posts, your not alone.
 
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Sorry to hear that depression is a part of your life. For those who have never experienced it, it can be confusing. It is sort of like being trapped under water and feeling certain that you can't get out. Nothing seems to motivate or spark interest. Everything is just kind of there, like a movie, a very dark and lonely movie. Nothing seems real.



Just remember Mike, nothing is wrong with you. You are not defective or "broken" because of this. You are a perfectly normal person . Everybody has something wrong with them, whether it be depression, insecurities, obesity, OCD, whatever it may be. We are humans and we are NOT perfect by any means. There is a whole world out there that wants you to be a part of it, and needs you to function within it. You play an important role whether you think so or not...there are people who need you and cherish you.



I'm no doctor or psychologist Mike, but I do know that there is NOTHING wrong with seeking help. It is NOT a sign of weakness. There are medications available (I'm not big on medicines, but I have seen them help people tremendously). Don't be afraid to reach out to any/or everybody you know. Family and Friends can be the best therapy. I'm not a religious person at all, I can't even tell you what a church looks like, but I do have friends that rely on their "faith" to carry out their lives.



My last advice is to exercise your ass off (you may already). Exercise does wonderful things for your body and mind. It strengthens and sharpens every aspect of your life. Again, I'm no Richard Simmons here, but exercise and a proper diet are the best things people can do for their bodies. Your mind thinks and process(s) thoughts emotions and feelings much better when its had its dose of exercise. Its simple, exercise is natures way of healing your mind and body.......you don't have to join some expensive gym and go get the latest Nikes, just figure out what exerciese/foods make your body and mind happy!!! Your body is just like your Sprot Trac....if you take care of it and service it like it should be, then it will last you a long, long time. Treat it like shit and it will be a headache.....



Chapter 2



Good luck man, I'm no expert in much, but I do understand that life is pretty short, and we need to experience it to the fullest. I can tell your a fighter and you will shake this think called depression....it will take some time and it will not be easy, but you can beat it man....no worries



-Tony











 
When I was younger, at timess I was very depressed. I was at the point where I wanted to kill myself. I just did not want to live anymore. I know how you feel. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I can only say is keep your head up.



There are people that love you more then you know. You owe it to them to take care of yourself. Life is a wonderful thing.





Tom
 

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