Dale Paris
Active Member
A Bow Hunter’s Life
3:00am Alarm Clock Rings
4:00am Hunting partner arrives, drags you out of bed
4:30am Throw everything but the kitchen sink into truck
4:35am Leave for woods.
5:00am Drive back home for Bow
6:00am Finally get to woods
6:05am Decide to hunt permanent stand you found last year; leave portable stand in truck and sneak into
woods.
6:30am Find permanent stand has been blown out of tree; run back to truck for portable stand.
6:45am Sneak back into woods with portable stand.
6:50am See six browsing deer
6:51am Six browsing deer see you.
7:00am Reach stand tree.
7:05am Go up tree and grab haul line.
7:06am Go down tree and tie bow to haul line.
7:07am Go back up tree.
7:30am Shoot at squirrel to loosen up - miss!
7:31am Try squirrel again.
7:35am One More Time.
8:00am Squirrel continues to show no respect…shoot again.
8:01am Squirrel must learn the laws of nature…shoot again.
8:02am Odds are not in hunter’s favor , shoot again.
9:05am Eight-point buck approaches and begins to sniff arrows stuck in ground.
9:05am Become violently ill when you realize you shot all arrows at squirrel.
9:15am Buck no longer fascinated with arrows and leaves area.
9:20am Hunter sits in tree and has long talk with himself.
11:36am Have lost appetite but decide to meet partner at truck for lunch anyway.
Noon Walk back to truck brings back appetite.
12:05PM Remember where you last saw lunch - on kitchen counter
12:10PM Hunting partner laughs while you change blades in broadheads.
12:11PM Remind partner that it is a long walk home.
12:15PM Discover that cold leftover coffee isn’t really that bad.
12:30PM Sneak back into woods determined to kill a deer
1:00PM Climb up tree and haul up bow.
1:30PM Discover cold leftover coffee could be patented as a laxative.
1:31PM Climb down tree and dig a hole.
2:00PM Squirrel returns but bow-hunter resists temptation.
2:30PM Drifts off to sleep
3:45PMAwake to find that safety lines do work and that snoring attracts deer.
3:46PM Since snoring has stopped. Deer are no longer enchanted.
4:00PM Decide to still-hunt for rest of afternoon.
5:55PM Decide that sitting in tree would have been better.
6:00PM head for Truck.
6:20PM See deer feeding right beside truck.
6:21PM Pick spot, carefully aim and release arrow.
6:21PM One “Dead†pick-up truck.
6:25PM Hunting partner arrives dragging deer.
6:29PM Attempt to remove arrow from truck.
6:30PM Strongly advise laughing partner again that it is a long walk home
3:00am Alarm Clock Rings
4:00am Hunting partner arrives, drags you out of bed
4:30am Throw everything but the kitchen sink into truck
4:35am Leave for woods.
5:00am Drive back home for Bow
6:00am Finally get to woods
6:05am Decide to hunt permanent stand you found last year; leave portable stand in truck and sneak into
woods.
6:30am Find permanent stand has been blown out of tree; run back to truck for portable stand.
6:45am Sneak back into woods with portable stand.
6:50am See six browsing deer
6:51am Six browsing deer see you.
7:00am Reach stand tree.
7:05am Go up tree and grab haul line.
7:06am Go down tree and tie bow to haul line.
7:07am Go back up tree.
7:30am Shoot at squirrel to loosen up - miss!
7:31am Try squirrel again.
7:35am One More Time.
8:00am Squirrel continues to show no respect…shoot again.
8:01am Squirrel must learn the laws of nature…shoot again.
8:02am Odds are not in hunter’s favor , shoot again.
9:05am Eight-point buck approaches and begins to sniff arrows stuck in ground.
9:05am Become violently ill when you realize you shot all arrows at squirrel.
9:15am Buck no longer fascinated with arrows and leaves area.
9:20am Hunter sits in tree and has long talk with himself.
11:36am Have lost appetite but decide to meet partner at truck for lunch anyway.
Noon Walk back to truck brings back appetite.
12:05PM Remember where you last saw lunch - on kitchen counter
12:10PM Hunting partner laughs while you change blades in broadheads.
12:11PM Remind partner that it is a long walk home.
12:15PM Discover that cold leftover coffee isn’t really that bad.
12:30PM Sneak back into woods determined to kill a deer
1:00PM Climb up tree and haul up bow.
1:30PM Discover cold leftover coffee could be patented as a laxative.
1:31PM Climb down tree and dig a hole.
2:00PM Squirrel returns but bow-hunter resists temptation.
2:30PM Drifts off to sleep
3:45PMAwake to find that safety lines do work and that snoring attracts deer.
3:46PM Since snoring has stopped. Deer are no longer enchanted.
4:00PM Decide to still-hunt for rest of afternoon.
5:55PM Decide that sitting in tree would have been better.
6:00PM head for Truck.
6:20PM See deer feeding right beside truck.
6:21PM Pick spot, carefully aim and release arrow.
6:21PM One “Dead†pick-up truck.
6:25PM Hunting partner arrives dragging deer.
6:29PM Attempt to remove arrow from truck.
6:30PM Strongly advise laughing partner again that it is a long walk home
